Jonathan Post Generator

MarkBB

//Jonathan Post Generator v0.1 BETA

#include <id.h>
#include <ego.h>
#include <stroke.h>
#include <growup.h>

void main(){
switch(post_type){
case 'I am rich':
handleRich();
break;

case 'I hate my <RELATIVE>':
handleHate(g_relative);
break;

case 'I am the best at <PROFESSION/ACTIVITY>':
handleTheBest();
break;

case 'I am really rich':
handleReallyRich();
break;

case 'I have a silly question about a food product':
handleWillIDie();
break
}
}

void handleRich(){
printf("Wow. I have so much more money than you.\n");
printf("I'm going to buy:\n");
while(1){
printf("this and ");
}
}

void handleHate(relative){
switch(relative){
case 'sister':
printf("Fuck that drugged out skanky loser. I am so much better than she is.\n");
printf("I don't know why my parents didn't just farm her out to an \n");
printf("adoption agency/prostitution ring when I was born.\n");
break;

case 'grandparent':
printf("Fuck those lame ass old people. They're so old and boring and I\n");
printf("have more important things to do than visit with them. I bet they'll\n");
printf("be dead by the time I get there anyway. I guess they're better\n");
printf("than my sister though.\n");
break;
}
}

void handleTheBest(){
CProfession cur = getRandomProffession();

printf("Holy Shit! I am so good at %s. I can't even fathom how good I am at %s.\n", cur.job, cur.job);
printf("You guys should really be envious of how fucking amazing I am at %s.\n", cur.job);
}

void handleReallyRich(){
while(1){
handleRich();
}
}

void handleWillIDie(){
CFood cur = getRandomInnocuousFood();

printf("I just at %s. Will I die?\n", cur.food);
}